


i can break bone

by venaticorum



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Gen, Possibly Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-18
Updated: 2013-05-18
Packaged: 2017-12-12 06:19:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/808284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/venaticorum/pseuds/venaticorum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Exploring the end of Star Trek Into Darkness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i can break bone

**Author's Note:**

> Can also be found on my tumblr (kirkery) under 'my writing' tag. Prompt from fleetcaptain on tumblr. Oh, yes. One last thing. I'm in denial about John Harrison being Khan - so I'll always avoid calling him Khan here.

I.

“If you had not intervened, I would have killed him.”

He remembers the sound of bone breaking, recalls Harrison’s cool words. He is incapable of his ancestors’ brutality, and yet he wraps his hands around Harrison’s throat. He squeezes. He wants to drive the spark out of his eyes, wants Harrison to suffer before he does it. Spock pummels Harrison, fists striking that smug face over and over. His mind is a blank, filled with a desire for revenge.

He aims to kill.

 _I’m scared, Spock._ Spock always thought he wanted to see Jim realize some humility, but there is something terrible about seeing the captain brought low in such a manner. He begs for the crew, and then, in the spirit of that plea, sacrifices himself for them. Where is the man who doesn’t believe in no-win scenarios? Where is the man who follows his own moral compass? The one who allows Harrison to live because Spock pressed, because he knows Spock is right? He is there, on the other side of the glass. _I’m scared, Spock._ Spock paws at the barrier; it is a pointless endeavor.

“I know,” Uhura admits. “He killed Pike—and Kirk.”

II.

Nyota dreams of beaming down onto that shipping vessel, phaser in hand. She points it at a staggering Harrison, and her eyes flicker to Spock. His eyes are aflame; she imagines hers are much the same. When they see Harrison, they see Jim Kirk, curled against the door. He was dead before they arrived, even if he still managed a brief conversation with Spock.

Her hand is steady when she fires.

The phaser is not set to stun.

III. 

Spock busies himself with repairs on the Enterprise.

Scotty offers, more than once, to take on his share of the work so he can sit in with the captain. He feels more than capable of getting their ship back to rights—with or without Spock. He is also the only one besides Uhura who knows about his emotional outburst in engineering; Spock cried for Jim Kirk. He realized the reason they both feel compelled to break the rules for one another. Jim is his friend, and it is terrifying to realize he might have lost that friend. Spock considers it, but Dr. McCoy is in a terrible mood, muttering around Jim’s unconscious form and scanning the captain more times than Spock thinks are strictly necessary.

Instead, around midday each day, Spock checks into Jim’s room. McCoy has promised to comm him if Jim awakens, but Spock comes anyway. He feels strangely anxious. There is, of course, a slim chance Jim will not awaken. And if he does, Spock is unsure what he will say. He is unsure what he will do. 

_I am your friend._

But there is something else. 

IV.

One afternoon, after two weeks of waiting, he is rewarded for his illogical habit. 

The captain’s face is soft; Spock can find no other way to describe it. He’s smiling, and his eyes, bright blue and alert, are completely focused on him. Spock doesn’t really notice that Dr. McCoy is still in the room. “You saved my life,” Jim says. Spock stares, feels his throat close up. It’s an unfamiliar feeling, an uncomfortable feeling. Many have said this. He and Uhura saved the captain. He wants to mention his desire to kill, his anger. If he couldn’t save Jim, Spock would have—without hesitation—killed John Harrison.

Instead, he says: “You saved my life, captain. And the lives—”

Jim cuts him off, shakes his head a little. Spock doesn’t want him to move, to worry himself over Spock’s inability to convey his emotions, and he reaches out, without being completely aware of what he’s trying to accomplish. Jim reaches, too. On the other side of the bed, McCoy mutters something, gives them both a once over, and heads towards the door. 

They clasp hands, and Spock is glad of the life he finds pulsing there. Jim’s grip is firm, and that simple fact makes him want to weep again. “I understand,” Spock begins again, “this.” He squeezes Jim’s hand just a touch, to convey what he means. He’s not sure, at this point, if he has words for it. 

“This?” Jim presses, curious. 

“This simple feeling,” Spock elaborates. He takes a breath, struggling to explain. 

Jim squeezes his hand, smiles. “I understand, Spock.” 

Spock has no doubt that he does.


End file.
